Hey there. We're a cute wee cocktail spot just above Soho who play sick tunes and have not one but two pet pinatas. Any questions?
Making a Murder
We’ve been running cocktail bars a good while, and we’re getting the hang of it, so this is how we plan to go - great drinks, not over-complicated but with that spark of intrigue. Inexpensive, but not short-poured. An outrageously experienced team who still actually enjoy their jobs. A bar that’s sexy in a way that can only bespeak beauty and filth combining in harmony.
They’re a bunch of heroes - see below for notable achievements. Sure, we’ve won a bunch of cocktail competitions and stuff, but who cares about that?
Q - Guilty pleasure cocktail? ___________________________ A - McDonald's choc shake, 200ml of peanut butter bourbon added, garnished with extra salty French fries.
Q - You own a bar, what does the welcome mat say? ___________________________ A - Something blandly welcoming, in an utterly illegible font.
Q - What's your spirit animal? ___________________________ A - Platypus, they’re walking custard factories. Just speaks to me.
Q - God tier bar snack? ___________________________ A - Family pack of ball-gags.
Q - Hey, didn’t you accidentally insinuate that a lovely American customer was a paedophile, right to her face? ___________________________ A - No! Fuck, who even writes these things?
Q - Biggest bartending turn-on? ___________________________ A - Your phone number. That’s me really leaning in on those amorous French bartender vibes.
JK, we’re not that naff. This is actually here so we can just toss out valuable SEO terms, because sound business sense. Don’t, like, read it or anything. Weird.
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Cocktail masterclasses are great, right? Sure…sometimes. In short, we think that classes which teach you one or two specific drinks you’re clearly never making again are bullshit. The good news, though, is that when you’ve been making cocktails a loooong time, you’ll start to see the rules, the basic hoops to jump through to make things taste good. So that’s what we teach. Classes are £40/head, last for roughly 90 minutes (depending on group size), and feature a damn fine amount of booze and laughs.
Wee update - sorry, guys. We'll be holding off on the classes for a little while until all the restrictions are lifted...
Find Us // Doing Time
Our little Cocktail bar is just off Oxford Circus, between Soho and Fitzrovia.
Monday - Thursday:
5pm - 12am
Friday & Saturday:
5pm - 2am
CLOSED (for now)
The Cocktail Trading Co.
Our first ever full-blown lease, and still a kid we’re crazy over-protective for. See her in her full glory here (link), or, for her full full glory, just go have a drink there, obviously.
Her Majesty’s Secret Service
When old friend and colleague Ben Alcock came knockin', we just had to answer the door. Our first collaboration in Bristol, HMSS is a dear sister to us, and a lot of fun.
Stokes Croft, Bristol
The second Bristol site with dear Benny is a real pretty thing. Drinks have evolved into tipples both refined and great, and there's even delicious food. Plus Stokes Croft is, like, super edgy, though I guess maybe not anymore if we've just said that.
Want a space ready? That's cool - just heads up, we only do bookings until 9, and max group size is 6 - though we can bend the rules occasionally early-week. Oh, and if your enquiry is in the next few hours, it’s probably better just to pop your head in - or better yet, head to the Royal Cocktail Exchange, literally minutes up the road and freshly-launched, so there's generally plenty of space :)